It has been nearly 1 1/2 months that we have been living in India now. I am slowly adjusting to life here, but some things are still a puzzle to me! For example; hired help. Most people back home do not have hired help. Not since our grandmothers' time, anyway, when people hired a mother's helper to assist for a short time around the house after children were born. Some people back home might have a maid come once per week to do floors and bathrooms, and that's about it. It's very different here. Very nearly the first question asked of me upon arrival was "Do you have help yet?" The reason for this seems to be that help is comparatively inexpensive here. It costs between $120 and $300 per month for a maid/cook/nanny to come 6 days per week, 9 hours per day, depending upon experience, ability to speak English and your ability to negotiate wages! At home, this kind of help would cost upwards of $2000 a month, so roughly 10 times what it costs here. I have not availed myself of hired help yet, except for a driver, whom we must have as we are not allowed to drive here! I think it has something to do with insurance and, as I mentioned in the previous blog, the state of driving here in Bangalore! Now, I am not familiar with several aspects of having hired help, and add to that a few nuances of Indian culture, and the situation is almost laughable.
Let me begin with our first driver. Aside from being young and an aggressive driver, he was a player. CONSTANTLY looking for a way to make a buck. Now, prices in Bangalore have skyrocketed since the influx of western companies. It was already crowded from the huge Indian Air Force presence here, and then add companies like Accenture, Target, PricewaterhouseCoopers, and IBM, and you've got real inflation going on. Regular everyday workers have difficulty paying rent since prices have gone through the roof, so I can understand our driver's need to look for money where it can be found. What I could not get past was the complete disregard for his job in the process, and his belief that he could get away with it. In short, after dropping my husband off at work he was supposed to return to the house so I could go shopping or use the car as needed. He returned alright...later and later every day. I'd wait 2 hours, 3 hours...with no food in the house and 2 hungry kids crying "I'm hungry!". This was during my first week here. No amount of "You must return to the house IMMEDIATELY" seemed to work. I think he was using the car as a taxi. It turns out he had a girlfriend, whom he said was looking for work. I hired her, hoping it would cut down on the late arrivals. Nope. Then they just BOTH showed up later and later every day. After they hadn't shown up one day 4 hours late, I was done. I felt horrible letting his girlfriend go. She was a sweetie. Our next driver was GREAT...for 1 day, then he showed his true colors. He drove so aggressively that our son got car sick. After 4 days, we were assigned another driver. He is the driver we have now. He is older, drives carefully, and I really like him. I still don't know how to treat "help", though. I am too nice, and supposedly that leads to being taken advantage of.. Other western family's advice seems so cold: "You can never be nice to them. Give an inch and they'll take a mile." But these are people, trying to make a buck like anyone else. I've worked for someone with that "treat underlings like crap" attitude and hated every second. I certainly don't want to be the one doing that to someone else!
So I am thinking hard on getting "someone to help out". The driver is not optional. But a maid or cook would be. Aside from freeing up my time (cleaning is constant here, to keep bugs at bay, and I spend HUGE amounts of time in the kitchen), doing for yourself is just not done here! I constantly get funny looks from people when I sweep my front walk, water my plants, and take my kids to the park. I can read the question in others' eyes..."Can't you afford help for that?" So different from the states, where the eyes go up when someone DOES have help; the thinking being "WOW! You must be RICH!" I'll keep you posted!
Let me begin with our first driver. Aside from being young and an aggressive driver, he was a player. CONSTANTLY looking for a way to make a buck. Now, prices in Bangalore have skyrocketed since the influx of western companies. It was already crowded from the huge Indian Air Force presence here, and then add companies like Accenture, Target, PricewaterhouseCoopers, and IBM, and you've got real inflation going on. Regular everyday workers have difficulty paying rent since prices have gone through the roof, so I can understand our driver's need to look for money where it can be found. What I could not get past was the complete disregard for his job in the process, and his belief that he could get away with it. In short, after dropping my husband off at work he was supposed to return to the house so I could go shopping or use the car as needed. He returned alright...later and later every day. I'd wait 2 hours, 3 hours...with no food in the house and 2 hungry kids crying "I'm hungry!". This was during my first week here. No amount of "You must return to the house IMMEDIATELY" seemed to work. I think he was using the car as a taxi. It turns out he had a girlfriend, whom he said was looking for work. I hired her, hoping it would cut down on the late arrivals. Nope. Then they just BOTH showed up later and later every day. After they hadn't shown up one day 4 hours late, I was done. I felt horrible letting his girlfriend go. She was a sweetie. Our next driver was GREAT...for 1 day, then he showed his true colors. He drove so aggressively that our son got car sick. After 4 days, we were assigned another driver. He is the driver we have now. He is older, drives carefully, and I really like him. I still don't know how to treat "help", though. I am too nice, and supposedly that leads to being taken advantage of.. Other western family's advice seems so cold: "You can never be nice to them. Give an inch and they'll take a mile." But these are people, trying to make a buck like anyone else. I've worked for someone with that "treat underlings like crap" attitude and hated every second. I certainly don't want to be the one doing that to someone else!
So I am thinking hard on getting "someone to help out". The driver is not optional. But a maid or cook would be. Aside from freeing up my time (cleaning is constant here, to keep bugs at bay, and I spend HUGE amounts of time in the kitchen), doing for yourself is just not done here! I constantly get funny looks from people when I sweep my front walk, water my plants, and take my kids to the park. I can read the question in others' eyes..."Can't you afford help for that?" So different from the states, where the eyes go up when someone DOES have help; the thinking being "WOW! You must be RICH!" I'll keep you posted!
